Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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