i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
No subtext here. People are naked.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
