worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
True strength comes from lack of pants
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
