did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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