I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
