Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
