Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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