he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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