handjob tips. give me some.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
