I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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