Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
