you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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