Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
