erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
