Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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