my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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