You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
