maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize