FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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