If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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