I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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