No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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