Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
