Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
