I can't watch pbs sober anymore
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
