"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
