quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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