Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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