Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
