Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
