She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
