Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
