doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
