me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
high people should be assigned attendants
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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