Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
