Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
