Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
