dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
