i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
do herpes really smell.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
