i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
