C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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