The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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