i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
