Non-Jews are for practice
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's official drugs can't kill me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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