it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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