Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Drake has all the answers
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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