WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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