I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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