i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize