On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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