I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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