Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
