Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
