Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
