she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
