Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
