I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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