Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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