i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
