So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
