So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize