whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
