We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
