I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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