the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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