all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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