I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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