If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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