i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
