He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
