I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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