I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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