Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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