you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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