I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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