We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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