I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
