I hope mine doesn't look like that
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
